Amazing Alice passes on: A Retrospective, Tributes and Condolences

Robert Tyabji, Vancouver, 31 October 2014

On Mum's packed 100'th birthday party on 5 September at the Dogherty Centre in Chatswood, Sydney, we screened Amazing Alice, the story of her life. 

 

 

Click HERE to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life.

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

Mum's funeral took place in Sydney on 27 October, 2014. Click HERE for the programme.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

Click HERE to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life.

Mum's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

Mum's funeral took place in Sydney on 27 October, 2014. Click HERE for the programme.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click HERE to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life.

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

Mum's funeral took place in Sydney on 27 October, 2014. Click HERE for the programme.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

Click HERE to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life 

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

Mum's funeral took place in Sydney on 27 October, 2014. Click HERE for the programme.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's. Click HERE for the programme.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

 

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

Mum's funeral took place in Sydney on 27 October, 2014. Click HERE for the programme.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

Mum's funeral took place in Sydney on 27 October, 2014. Click HERE for the programme

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

Mum's funeral took place in Sydney on 27 October, 2014.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

 

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0002.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0002.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0002.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0002.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0002.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0002.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen

 

 

 

 

 

 

\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/69751997@N00/sets/72157649140733101/\" target=\"new\">Click to see snapshots of Amazing Alice's life on Flickr.</a>

Alice's funeral was held on the morning of 5 November at Sydney's Northern Suburbs Memorial Garden and Crematorium, where her ashes have been placed next to her beloved Amin's.

Fifty people attended, among them Tony and Cameron, the Fyfes, Maree and Jennifer, Annemarie, Happie who came all the way from Melbourne on crutches, Ray, the Tuesday Group ladies, the Knitting Group, most of Alice's friends, ladies from the church, Gen and some staff from the Dougherty Centre, and some of Ursula's friends.

Tariq and Bruce read the eulogies and Bruce spoke eloquently. Both put their hearts into their readings. Tariq played his version of Autumn Leaves on his flute, and it was very beautiful.

Alice's treasured orangutan sat propped against the coffin next to her photo.

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Alice_obituary/photo%202.jpg\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0001.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0002.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0003.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

<img src=\"http://www.tyabji.net/Memorabilia/Mum Alice Funeral Programme_0004.jpg\" width=\"500px\" hspace=\"4\" vspace=\"4\">

 

Tributes

Mum, a short word, a sweet word, a word that stays with you as long as you live. The first word in a child’s vocabulary.

My Mum loved her sewing, her embroidery, cross stitch, crocheting her bead covers, her knitting. When she was no longer able to do these intricate things, her knitting kept her occupied. Her hands were never still. She would knit in the car, on the plane, in the train, watching TV.

She read the Bible daily until her eyes became so bad that she could no longer do so.

She loved her last home at the Dougherty Hostel, it was her wish to move there from the home she had with Bruce and me. The residents and staff loved her, and I know will miss her sorely.

Mum never complained, she never swore, she was always polite, always thanked me for visiting her, always replying “I’m alright.” She was heartbroken when Dad passed away. She was devoted to him. She then spent six months with her beloved brother in Switzerland, and this helped her overcome her loss to some extent. Mum loved everyone. She accepted Bruce with love as her own. She reveled in the adoration of her grandchildren and their young ones. She was an inveterate letter writer, welcomed meeting people from all walks of life, loved travelling to distant places and I’m sure will be remembered with affection by many, all over the globe

I know that, on that last morning of her life, when she spoke my father’s name time and again, she felt his nearness and gladly, peacefully, left us to join him.

Ursula Heffernan, Sydney, 31 October

 

What can a grown man say about the woman, the angel, who brought him into the world, sustained him into childhood, pandered to his every need and loved him, his wife and his children until her dying day?

My mother showed me the way to grow into what I am today. From her I learned the virtues and rewards of honest work tempered by compassion, respect for living things, tolerance towards others' cultures, and a keen eye for spotting and taking on new challenges.

She was generously endowed with Swiss frugality and a practical way of dealing with everything that came her way. She must have imbibed these virtues early; when still a teenager my grandfather gave her the sewing machine that launched her early dressmaking career. Later on, after she met Dad at a Zurich University ball, she took the challenge of a lifetime and embarked on a remarkable journey with him, a journey of nearly nine decades until the end which came on the 26th of October 2014, in Sydney, Australia.

One cannot imagine my mother's courage in marrying a man from a distant country, and leaving the security of her familiar surroundings in Switzerland to travel to alien lands. My grandparents too displayed remarkable tolerance and wisdom in blessing the union, albeit after they had received the go-ahead from the Swiss Consul in Bombay.

My parents' initial destination was London where Dad had a research position at Guy's Hospital. This presented a huge challenge for Mum who spoke no English, and was seen by the locals as an ignorant alien. My parents were demeaned at every turn. To begin with, they were unable to find suitable lodgings; Mum would go first to make arrangements with the landlady, but when Dad - a 'black man' - came home they would be invited to leave.

Mum's next challenge came when they moved to India after Ursula was born. Who could imagine the severity of the culture shock and the sheer tenacity Mum displayed in not just tolerating the alien environment but actually adapting to it without complaint?

It's true that my parents' lifestyle was privileged. Their large, comfortable bungalow and beautiful garden was in a desirable locality favored by wealthy local and expatriate families. Mum quickly adapted and comfortably integrated with Dad's large extended family. She visited her mother and siblings in Zurich every few years, but she never expressed a desire to return.

Mum's love for Dad was boundless. He was totally devoted to her. I never saw them fight or even argue. Decades later when Dad lay ill in a Sydney nursing home Mum stayed by his side until the very end. Twenty years later, when the end came for her, her very last act was to repeatedly call his name.

Now she is gone. but her memory will always keep me company. After Hootoksi and I were married and we moved from Bombay, contact with Mum was sporadic, limited to occasional phone calls and a few visits over the years. Mum also visited us in our distant postings like New Delhi, Dar es Salaam and Kuala Lumpur. No effort was too much for her, and she never complained.

One example was the grueling road trip in my short-chassis army-style Nissan Patrol 4WD, from Dar es Salaam to Ruaha National Park in western Tanzania. The journey involved 4 hours of tortuous bone-shaking driving on a severely eroded road. Mum never uttered a word of complaint, even when the vehicle got stuck in the mud. Even strange foods were consumed with relish!

Ever since Dad's passing, I feared the day I would lose my mother. I had no idea how I would take it when the end came. Now she's gone and all I have left is a flood of memories and fond thoughts. There are no regrets beyond wishing I had been there at the end. But I am comforted by the memory of having been with her so recently and celebrating her last birthday with her.

I could not have had a better mother.

Robert Tyabji, 31 October 2014, Vancouver B.C.

 

Today is not a day for mourning. It is a day to celebrate the life of  Amazing Alice, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and my dearest mother in law.

Not long after I married Robert, I pointed out a plant to her called "mother in law's tongue" - she did not like the name because the plant with its long pointed leaves conjured up an image of a mother-in-law with a vicious tongue. "I am your mum" she told me that day "Not your mother-in-law," and that is exactly what she was to me - my second mum.

Mum and I got to know about each other by the letters we faithfully wrote from faraway places. Through them she learned about our children and their lives and I began to comprehend her incredible life. Then when we were together, it was like we had always known each other.

It was easy for me to "know" mum as so much of her resides in her son - they share the same star sign and often had identical mannerisms. I always knew what her reactions to situations would be because they were identical to Robert's!  This gave me the upper hand when it came to "understandin\" and we laughed about this.

We learned a lot from each other and though we often held different views we never allowed them to distance us; on the contrary, those differences taught us about respect and drew us closer together.

I learned many things from my second mum. She taught me about neatness and order, kindness and giving, cross-stitch and compassion - but the most important lesson she taught me was about acceptance and letting go of those you love - however, she could not teach me to make her son\s favorite Gugalupf cake,  but that is a story for another time.

Her hands were always busy, and her heart was always open to welcome another to enter and revel in it.

She loved life and lived it to the full - she loved elephants and she loved birds - I like to think of her as a little bird, winging her way to a perch beside her beloved Amin - two spirits once again united and part of the One Indivisible Love.

Holding on to that thought there is no room for grief in my heart, only joy and gratitude for knowing and loving my beloved mum,  Alice.

Hootoksi Tyabji, Vancouver B.C.

 

Dearest Aunty Ursula,

Firstly, thank you from the bottom of our Hearts for being there for Dadima and Grandpa for all these years. I know it is a huge sacrifice and am eternally grateful to you.

Here is a memory I have of Dadima. Although not humorous, it is one I cherish and one that has informed my character.

Sewing

That old-school machine. Always pedal to the metal. Whirring, spinning wheel, toe then heel, needle up and down so fast, magic garments created right before our eyes. And what a rhythm!

Dadima taught me to thread a needle. Her technique resides within me and I'll pass it on to my children.

Cutting

Those scissors, black handled, slightly rusted bolt and nut, with a slow, long sound of cutting fabric, that crescendo as it speeds up toward the last bit of cloth. Dadima's technique allowed for perfectly straight cuts. She patiently tried with me but I couldn't get it. It's not the teacher\'s fault, I see with my ears!

Somerset Place, Bombay

Sewing machine near that window, I just had to climb out. Yeah, it was the 4'th or 5'th floor, so what? How many times Dadima stopped me from executing that move! Always patient, always offering the alternative of sitting on the floor to watch her with that old-school sewing machine. Hours, days pass as creation after creation slides off that black metal tray. The whirring, the clicking of the needle, the soft squeak of her Swiss chappals on that foot pedal. It all worked perfectly with the wind in the huge trees, canopies gently swaying, in graceful unison with the curtains and the cloth hanging off the machine.

These memories flood in from an era long gone, the stuff of myth in a child's memory.

I Love you so Dadima, now free to choose a new path, free to find Grandpa again.

We will feel you every day, I carry you in my Heart, and when I meet a person, I know they feel you too.

With my unending Love and deepest of Gratitude,

Michel Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

When I first met Alice, I was newly married to her grandson Michel.

I had heard tales of her amazing life story, and wasn't sure if they were all true. Michel had told me that his Dadima Alice had practiced yoga in India, had a black belt in judo, successfully thwarted bank robbers in Sydney and beaten them with her purse, and most amazingly: she had defied her naturally xenophobic Swiss German culture and married a man from India. Wow! I was impressed.

So, when first physically meeting her, I had some preconceived ideas about this tough minded, flexible, worldly woman. I was soon even more impressed with her kind demeanor, her easy laughter and loving spirit. Her thoughtful consideration of us, though we lived so far away, was expressed in her carefully embroidered holiday cards and handicrafts. True to her Swiss heritage, her gifts arrived precisely on time, she was meticulous. We knew we were in her heart, and we will always have her in our hearts. As I place a lovingly beaded doily on my glass or wrap up in a gorgeous wool blanket made by her skillful hands, I know she is still sending her love.

Our dear Dadima Alice, now our dear Angel Alice. Forever loved.

Rosa Tyabji, Los Angeles

 

Dear Aunty Ursula,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping company with Dadima to the end. Dadima always assured me to hold an unconditional faith, and it seems you have lived it. I wish I was closer to my Sydney family somehow...and maybe I still can be.

With Dadima, we kept in touch via letter. Her beautifully written words. I cherish our long chronology of cards and letters. Dadima would NEVER miss on Birthdays and Christmases. I knew those seasons were coming once I received her cards. In all the earlier years, birthday cards also contained real currency cheques to sweeten her lovely wishes. How much Dadima SHOWED her love and caring for me!!! Her hand-laced cards and stitched tea-cup-covers are among my most coveted personal items. So, despite interacting extremely remotely, we built a close relationship. I knew Dadima loved me and I hope she knows I loved her back.

So there was a time, probably when Azura was under one year old, that I had Dadima on the phone with me. She was asking about the baby and I was telling her how I would soon be weaning the child to solid foods. Dadima just said "Yes, yes, and give her plenty of butter!" I had been receiving cautionary advice from the medical professionals on this topic, and Dadima's simple advice made me connected to a wiser time.

I will always remember her calm demeanor and sage words she shared with me. Perhaps it is for her that I so loved bread, cheese, grapes, thrift, fine writing, and colder climates.

Thank you for representing my love with Dadima at her final services this week.

Love and honour,

Farhad Tyabji, Seattle

 

Darling Aunty Ursula,

Thank you so much for caring for Dadima all these years. Your compassion knows no bounds and lays the highest example to aspire for. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In spite of the thousands of miles and hours between Dadima and myself we maintained strong feelings of love. As a boy she would put me on her knee and say "Adil, you are my favorite" and we would continue by covering each other in kisses. To this day I can still feel her warmth and can easily get lost in her smel

As an adult I would ask Dadiama "What is the secret to long life, Dadima?" to which she would reply "You must be happy and comfortable."

I always share Dadima's advanced answer to anyone with a similar question and will forever treasure our feeling for one another that continue to span space and time.

All my love thoughts and comfort, love peace.

Adil Tyabji, Vancouver

 

Dear Ursula,

Even though I never had the opportunity to live close to your Mom, my memories of her are quite vivid. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, she seemed to be able to be happy in the moment and content with herself. She was genuinely interested in my family and myself and loved to talk about my children and grandchildren. It is hard to imagine the spunk and courage she had to fall in love and marry your Dad, and then move to Bombay as a young woman; it would be tough today but all those decades ago, it must have been so scary and exhilarating at the same time. My deceased wife Judy particularly had a soft spot for Alice and marveled at her ability to be so comfortable in such differing surroundings and her ability to find joy in the simplest things in life. Her correspondence has been nothing short of exemplary, she wrote beautiful letters to us and we cherished them. She will be missed but not forgotten.

And while I have a vague recollection of meeting you in Bombay 40 years or so ago, I have marveled at your courage. Hootoksi and Robert have kept me informed of the immense source of strength you provided to your Mom and I know it must have taken its toll on you in countless ways. But know that your actions over all these years show all of us the true meaning of love and caring. I hope in the not too distant future we meet.

Sending lots of love to you, Tariq & Clara.

Kershasp Pundole, Kuala Lumpur

 

Condolences

We received messages of condolence and sympathy from many relatives, friends and acquaintances, via email and text (SMS), and have reproduced some of them here. We are still compiling them so please bear with us ...

 

On Oct 27, 2014 5:25 am, Noshir Pundole wrote:

My Dear Robert and Hootoksi: We are saddened at the passing away of Alice and send to our sincerest condolences. She was such a wonderful woman, so caring and considerate and positive, quite an example for all of us. We will miss her but know that she is where she deserves to be, with her beloved Amin.

Lots of love...

Mom and Dad

 

On Oct 26, 2014, Kershasp Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

I am sad and yet relieved that your mom passed. She was such a wonderful example to all of us how to live and enjoy a long and happy life. I will very much miss receiving her kind and thoughtful letters, but know she is in a better place. May you have the strength to bear this event.

Lots of love,

Kershasp

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Kate Clarke wrote:

Dearest Rob and Hootoksi,

Tariq has just emailed me with the news of Alice’s passing. We are so sad and a little shocked but we also rejoice in the full and wonderful life that she had. l always remember the marvelous story of her life at her 100’th birthday party, and for you there will be so many happy memories. From how Tariq described it, it seems that she went peacefully?  For that we can be truly grateful. You will miss her very much and our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences.

With our love.

Kate and Khalifa, Muscat

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Ronni Gimmi wrote:

Dear Ursula, Bruce, Robert, Hootoksi and children,

Our most sincere sympathies on this sad occasion. It’s good to know that my Gotti passed away peacefully and without pain. Thinking of you all.

Love,

Ronni, & Feroza, Dario & Fabian

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Alex McKee wrote:

Dear Robert,

My mum let me know about the passing of your mother.

Marnie and I send you and your family our best intentions during this time.

I’m sure Alice lived a fantastic life and many people are the better for having had her in theirs.

Sorry for your loss

Alex

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Neville Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,

Neville

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Shehernavaz Pundole wrote:

Thank you, Rob. You and Hootoksi must feel grateful that you were always so faithful about visiting her regularly. The beautiful book you two created for her graces our coffee table and is often picked up and enjoyed. Your darling mum and pa are together now. I have no doubt that Aunty Alice was aware of her beloved Amin as she made the transition, and that he was right there at hand to welcome her. Dear Ursula certainly has her hands full.  All the help and support that she needs are at hand for her in all kinds of ways, at the very moment those needs arise. With lots of love from us both,

Shehernavaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sheri Reaze wrote:

Dear Robert,

My dad passed along the news of your dear sweet mom. So sorry to hear. The first thing I thought of when my dad told me is--What a thoughtful sweet lady. She was always so thoughtful with her cards..always remembering everyone's birthday or any other big event. Every story I was told that included her was always so fun. She really seemed to be the type of person that people were attracted to because of her sweet demeanor.

I am sure she will be missed a ton by lots of people. We are thinking of you and also appreciating the long relationship you were able to have with her.

Love you,

Sheri

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Navaz Patuck wrote:

Dearest Robert and Topsi,

So sorry to hear about Alice and only hope her end was a peaceful one.

Do send my condolences to Ursula.

She really as an amazing lady and what an example for all of us.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Navaz

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Gitanjali Khanna wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

How blessed you both were to have truly amazing Alice in your lives.

Each time I'd hear about her various achievements and her zest for life from either of you, I would be filled with such admiration of her, so I can imaging just how proud you were of her.

How many people can boast of a life lived so fully and so meaningfully.

Bless her on her journey to even greater achievements!

Much love,

Gitanjali

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Devinder Chopra wrote:

A great soul indeed.

Wherever in the heavenly circles Mum may be now, you and those of us who have known her are blessed. Taking care of and cherishing the Seniors with love and care seems to have been your role par excellence.

The generation that will follow us, one wonders, what values they will hold and practice.

May Mum's soul RIP - and bless you for the unique kind you two have been.

Said and shared with a sense of great love and respect.

Dev and Sudesh in Gurgaon

 

 

On Oct 27, Sanjay Acharye wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum. It seems we were in touch with her through you and she obviously led a full and wonderful life spanning over a hundred years.

Our thoughts are with you and everyone in the family.

Lots of love,

Sanjay

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Husain Abdulally wrote:

Needless to say our heartfelt ,deepest condolences to all the family members around the world, and in particular to her son Robert, daughter-in-law Hutokshi, and daughter Ursula.

Haseena, Husain, Adnan Abdulally

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nergish Manecksha wrote:<

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I am sorry to hear about Alice's passing away.

From all accounts she lived a full life and was cheerful and happy.

May her soul rest in peace.

I sympathise...

Paul and NERGISH

 

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Lale Sarbh wrote:

Dearest Rob,

A really big hug to u. Really sad to hear about the passing on of your mum. She was a lovely person who I got to know well in Sydney. I admired who she was and the way she lived.

I am sure u will miss her but ...

Lots of love.

Lale

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Hosi Kapadia wrote:

Dear Hootoksi and Robert,

Please accept our sincere condolences on the sad passing of your mother.

May her soul rest in peace.

Our prayers are with you.

Love,

Aban and Hosi

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Sherene & Neville Vakil wrote:

Dear Robert & Hootoksi,

Neville and I extend to you both, to your children and their families as well as to Ursula and her family our deepest sympathy on this grievous loss. Having recently experienced the loss of my own centenarian mother, I understand exactly what you are going through. It is true that Alice lived a long and full life, but parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said. It is only the loving memories that will help to cope with your loss and the knowledge that she is now beyond all mortal afflictions and cares.

You are so right in saying that she will live forever, for you are part of her and she will be ever fresh in your hearts and memories.

God rest her soul in eternal peace.

With much love,

Sherene & Neville

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Rosa Tyabj wrote:

Dear Family,

My heartfelt condolences go out to you, to us, at this time. Even though Dadima reached a lofty age and lived a fulfilling life we still have grief. She was such a force of love and thoughtfulness, always caring.

She will be well loved and so well remembered by all of us who were in her circle.

My last impression of her from our visit in 2013, she was quite lucid, and told me "I never really got to know you. I knew you for all these years, and never had the chance."

Well, that struck me immediately. Her mortality, her clear feeling, shone to me as well as that recognition of how precious little time we do have together.

I will definitely work on a few words to share about our Dadima, Amazing Alice, and send them on to Ursula.

Love to you all,

Rosa

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Jacob Matthan wrote:

Dear Rob,

Jacob and I are truly sad to hear of the passing of your mother.

We both never had the opportunity to meet her but the wonderful picture that you shared with us on her 100’th birthday lives in our hearts.

We were glad to hear that you were able to celebrate the birthday with her this year also. She has been in our prayers all this time as we prayed that she continue her life in happiness and good health.

Please accept the deepest condolences of both of us and all our Class of ‘59, to whom she meant more than you can imagine.

Yours in great sadness,

Annikki and Jacob

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Talaat Tyabji wrote:

Dear Ursula and Robert,

Just heard from cousins in Mumbai about the passing away of dear Aunty Alice. May her soul rest in peace. In this, as in all matters, we must submit to God’s will. We pray that He may grant eternal peace to the departed soul, and give you and your families fortitude to bear this irreparable loss, Ameen.

Losing a mother is a traumatic experience and I hope you will find comfort in the prayers of your family and friends and the wonderful memories left by Aunty Alice. She was indeed an exemplary person, who was so much loved and highly respected in the Khandan. She was an icon of elegance and dignity. I fondly recall her visits to my grandfather’s house in Andheri, as well as her trip to Karachi with Amin Chacha.

On behalf of my brother Naseem, sister Razia and all the family members in Pakistan,I would like to convey our heartfelt condolences to both of you and all the family members on your bereavement.

Yours affectionately,

Talaat (Tyabji), Karachi, Pakistan

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Sophia Purekal wrote:

Dear Hootoksi,

I am so happy to hear from you, though sad to hear of the passing of the wonderful and amazing Dadima. I know she lived and extraordinary and blessed life, surrounded in kind by the love she showed people. It must be difficult to fathom her being gone but I know many people are celebrating her memory. You are all in my heart.

Sophia

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Vikram Kamdar wrote:

My Dear Robert,

Please accept Nandini and my heartfelt condolences on the sad passing on of your dear Mother.

I have very fond and vivid memories of her gracious hospitality and love when we spent so many wonderful hours at your house during school years.

We pray for her eternal peace and share with you the grief and are with you to share your loss.

Yours in grief,

Nandini & Vikram

 

On Oct 28, 2014, Phil Captain wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hutoxi:

Please accept our deepest condolences..... Your mom was a wonderful lady and she will always be remembered and missed.

We wish you strength and lots of love as you move forward in your lives.

Sincerely,

Phil and Main

 

On 30 Oct 2014, Dr. Waheed wrote:

Dear Brother Robert,

We are very sad to receive the news about your mom. Please accept sincere condolences from us.

It's good that you and Hootoksi were able to see her recently.

Travel safely and hope to see you soon.

All the best.

Waheed and Ilham

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Aban Mukherji wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

Thank you for your e-mail informing us about the passing on of your beloved mother, Alice. She was truly an amazing person and her life was full of grace and joy. She really lived life fully and touched the hearts of all she met. My mother was very fond of her.

I do hope her end was peaceful and she did not suffer much. I know you will miss her greatly but her presence and her love will surround you always.

Much love to you both,

Aban

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Niloufer Singara wrote:

Dear Robert & Hutoxi,

Was sad to learn about your mother's passing. She was a very nice lady and we are glad she had a long and peaceful life.

May her soul rest in peace.

Please convey our condolences to your sister, and the other members of your family.

Trust you are all in good health. Hope to see youin December?

Warm regards,

Ratan, Niloufer & Family

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Dan Sukhia wrote:

Hi Robert and Hootoksi,

So sorry to hear about the passing of the Grand Old Dame - Alice. I can remember not too long ago you both had been to Australia to celebrate her 100 year birthday.

Please accept our sincerest condolences and we Pray that she is in a better place.

Anoo, Diniar, Karl and Michele

 

On Oct 27, 2014, D.K.Shetty wrote:

Our dear Hootoksi & Robert,

Our heartfelt condolences. It was the death of a priceless mother.

This is not the time to mourn for the great lady but to celebrate her departure to a much better place close to almighty God.

From what little we have seen of her in Dar she has had a full life and she has left this world peacefully.

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

Love to both of you,

Latha & DK

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Anita Murray wrote:

Robert, just heard. I suppose it's inevitable, but what a life she has had!! No idea where or if you will get this, but it comes with a big hug.

Hugs,

Anita

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Nasir Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Alice Khala was indeed great and to have survived into the 2010s shows how well she was looked after during the last decades of her life. Sad to see perhaps the last of her generation also lost to us.

Affectionately,

Nasir

 

On Oct 27 2014, "Zarin Watson wrote:

My darling Robert and Hootoksi,

Received this news with immense sadness. We have never met Alice but have experienced her through her children and family. We wish her eternal peace and love always.

Zarin, Steve and Pearce

 

On Oct 27, 2014, Tiow Main Yin wrote:

Oh..my condolence,,, so sorry to hear the sad news and your loss.. Yes, she was loved and cherished and may she rest in peace..

Take Care..

Lots of love

Main

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Qays Tayyibji wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi, and Ursula

Sad to hear of Aunty Alice's passing. What a wonderful inning...a century and then a graceful retirement. From Switzerland to India to Australia and then to the land where all souls are at Eternal Peace. God Bless her.

The Death of a near one is always hard. Please accept my heartfelt condolence in your bereavement, and the prayer (not that God always listens to me!!) that God gives you strength to bear your loss.

Affectionately,

Qays

 

On Oct 29, 2014, Kuen Lai wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Thanks for informing us.

We were deeply saddened by the news of Alice's passing. Our heartfelt condolences to both of you and your family.

Alice is someone so special and can never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed. Alice was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her.

To inform you that my mobile phone line is now back in service.

Regards and take care.

Queenie and family

 

On Oct 30, 2014, Cyrus Pundole wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

I'm so sad to hear this news. I will treasure the correspondence she kept up with my mum for years, and then even myself. She sent me a picture of her and my mum in KL (I'm pretty sure) in what must have been '92 or '93, only a year ago. That was such a lovely thing to send, and typical too!

As you say, Amazing.

Hootoksi, give Rob a big hug from us.

We're thinking of you guys over there in the States.

Kershasp has filled me in on who's going over there (your place) in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your time with the 'boys'.

Cyrus

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Aziza Tyabji wrote:

Dear Robert,

I was so sorry to hear the news about Auntie Alice but glad that she passed away peacefully. Please accept my condolences.

Sheila is unable to access her computer these days and has specially asked me to send you her love and condolences. She said Auntie Alice was like a second mother to her and she really loved her dearly. She often talks about her childhood and happy memories of you and Ursula as well.

Sheila has preserved all Auntie Alice's beautifully written letters and cards - her handwriting was amazing.

Take care dear Robert.

Love,

Aziza

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Cheryl Hoogewerf wrote:

My dear Friends,

I have just read the very sad news about the passing of Robert's dear mother. Although I never met Alice, I feel I know her after listening to the stories about her long & amazing life from you both. She is at peace and rest now and I know you will both miss her enormously. I know you had a lovely visit with her in September & will have many wonderful memories of a special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this very sad time.

Sincere condolences,

Cheryl

 

On Nov 1, 2014, Yasmin Saidakot wrote:

Dearest Robert and Hootoksi,

My condolences to both of you. Alice's exit from the earth plane sounds as though she knew exactly where she was travelling to - so romantic. I felt very honored to have met Alice on her 100th birthday. May her soul rest in peace eternally.

Whilst one expects this moment, the final news is never easy and filled with sadness. Robert, I hope you are ok. One never forgets, memories never erased.

Alice's life has been an extra ordinary one from what you have told me, and I would encourage you, when you are ready to write a book on her remarkable journey.

My love and thoughts are with you both.

If there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

With Love and Blessings,

Yasmin

 

On Nov 2, 2014, Jimmy Mistry wrote:

Dear Robert and Hootoksi,

Shirin and I are sorry to read about Alice. Our deepest condolences to all the family. We had the privilege of meeting her on several occasions in Kuala Lumpur at Roshan and Noshir's. Shirin still remembers and treasures the hand crochet handkerchief which Alice had presented to her. Hootoksi from what you had told us, she had a lovely group of friends and was well looked after which is gratifying.

Please convey our best regards to mum and dad. Kindly drop us a line when you can.

Fond regards,

Shirin and Jimmy

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Razia Karimjee wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Robert,

We were sorry to learn this morning of the very sad news of Alice. May the Almighty rest her soul in eternal peace. Amen

At the age of 103 it is a celebration of an amazing life. She was also very fortunate to have the support and love of her family and friends. You did mention that she was quite frail when you celebrated her Birthday. She will definitely be an inspiration to us all and happy to have met her and have the fond memories in Dar es salaam.

Aunty, Uncle and the Bharmal Family also were saddened to hear Alice's news and send their condolences.

Much Love,

Razia and Hatim

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Roshan & Behram Colah wrote:

Dearest Hootoxi and Robert,

Our sincere condolences to you on the passing away of our dear aunty Alice.

It was good to hear from Feroza and Ronni that she was active till the end and did not suffer much.

It was amazing how she always remembered to write and wish us for our anniversary and birthdays each year.

May her soul rest in peace.

Lots of love,

Roshan and Behram

 

On Nov 4, 2014, Ray Miles wrote:

Dear Robert, Hootoksi and family,

A great service celebrating Alice\'s life - I was honored to have been able to attend.

Bruce and Tariq did an excellent job of reading your families' messages.

Love,

Ray

 

On Nov 5, 2014, Khurshed and Deenaz Bulsara wrote:

Dear Robert,

I heard about your mother and after your phone call tried to call you back but after several attempts stopped as it gave a negative reply saying the number could not be connected.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and please accept my condolences for this.

In sorrow,

Bulsi

 

On Nov 9, 2014, S. McKenzie wrote:

Dearest Hootoksi and Rob,

So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing while you were away. But what a fabulous way to go! So glad for her, that she had no prolonged suffering or illness. From what I gather, she had a full and beautiful life.

There is nobody like a mother, and she will be missed. Sending you love to help you through this.

Lots of love,

Shireen