Robert Tyabji retires after 30 years of service with UNICEF
Kathmandu, 28 February 2003
Extract from a letter written by Hootoksi to Mum Alice dated 17 April 2003:
"Dearest Mum,
Can you believe that your youngest child, your son Robert has retired from UNICEF after serving for over 30 years?
I wish you could have been at the office farewell party to see and hear the praises, love, respect and admiration that poured out of members of staff for their colleague, your Robert.
Normally, farewell parties take place on the back lawn of the UNICEF Regional Office in Kathmandu and are small routine affairs, but this tea party was laid out on the front lawn and everything looked so beautiful! The Regional Director, Dr. Sadig Rashid gave a speech followed by the Chairman of the Staff Association and many others who spoke from their hearts. Robert was given the traditional Nepali topi which he wore, and we were both garlanded with flowers (the local Hindu tradition) and white cloth scarves (the Buddhist tradition). I was gifted a Pashmina shawl and we were given a wonderful picture book on Nepal in which many staff members have signed and written words of praise for Rob which you can read when we meet next. Robert was then invited to speak, and he had prepared a wonderful speech which I attach below. In addition, I had asked our children to write letters to their Pa for his retirement and these were read out and brought tears to many an eye!
Your son and my husband is the most wonderful human being I know and not a day passes without my giving thanks for having him beside me to love and to cherish, to laugh and to cry with. He always worked hard for his family, never complained about the long hours he had to put in at work and was ready to lend a hand to anyone who asked for help no matter how busy he was! He never looked for praise and was only interested in getting the job done and done well.
CONGRATULATIONS Ma, your son, my husband is a hero, a wonderful human being, free at last to do what he wants with his time and to ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULL!"
Robert’s farewell speech to UNICEF Regional Office for South Asia (ROSA) in Kathmandu, Nepal on 7 March, 2003.
Many years ago, a friend gave me this quotation on retirement.
I am often asked “When did you retire?"
To which I reply: “I am not even tired!”
What is ageing?
It’s like a rivulet that flows into a stream,
Becomes a river and goes into the sea.
What it loses in force, it gains in depth.
Becoming old is about getting a larger perspective on life and carrying on as best you can.
I say -- Evolve or die!
But when the time comes, I will walk into the sunset.
Till then I am very much here.
What is retirement? Many people we know began pondering this question years in advance of reaching that point in their lives. They planned for it, built houses and prepared themselves so well that they had nothing left to do when the time finally arrived! Some people actually dread the day they will retire and the working spouse wonders how the days will pass without the preoccupations of the office, while the other spouse worries about how to handle the situation.
For me, retirement means an opportunity for Hootoksi and I to make a completely new life for ourselves and our children without concern for what others, usually strangers who have no interest in us as individuals, want us to do.
For both of us, retirement means the chance, for the first time in 32 years together, to spend quality time with each other. It will give us the privilege of doing things together that we really enjoy doing, like discovering more about the world we live in, getting to know our children and grandchildren better, and, of course getting back into making films and other creative productions together. We will have the luxury of selecting our own projects and executing them to our own standards and preferences.
Looking back over our joint career with UNICEF gives us plenty to think about. We wonder whether, in the final analysis, our efforts have been really worth it? This kind of evaluation is difficult and can be hard on one’s soul, but one day we will arrive at a conclusion. We realize that we have had incredible opportunities to travel, mix into and imbibe other cultures and values. We have witnessed life in the real world, in the forests and cities, the deserts and on the mountains. Our children have received education in the true sense of the word, learning about life through experiences outside the classroom.
At the same time, as members of a select group of international civil servants, we have led privileged, protected lives. I have been particularly blessed in having been given an extraordinarily free hand in my work, whether I was functioning at GS7 level in Delhi or P5 level here. I have nearly always enjoyed my work because much of it has been experimental and frequently cutting edge. When in ROSCA between 1972 and 1980, I was showing village women and farmers how to express themselves more effectively by making filmstrips at the village well, without any professional or outside services, and projecting them to the authorities and to their own communities. I built windmills in Tilonia and Jamkhed and became deeply involved in developing the contemporary community handpump which is now so well known in different parts of the world as the India Mark II pump. Later, in Bhutan, I was the man on the spot in putting that country’s universal salt iodation program in place, apart from starting and heading a government department called the DSCD, now the BBS. In Bhutan, Somalia and Yemen, I was fully focused in helping to ensure the success of the oral rehydration and immunization programs, as well as being involved in emergency and security issues.
But I regret that, too often, the nature of my work distanced me from family duties and responsibilities. It forced us to send our children away from us to boarding schools an eternity away. This is a risk everyone in this business runs, but that is also why the Organization needs to do more to address the issue of building a more family friendly UNICEF.
In these 30 years we have seen huge improvements in the survival and development of children around the world. Hootoksi and I are immensely proud to have been associated directly and indirectly in helping to make these happen. Our children share this pride with us. I say we, because I want to underline the fact that, in a family, both members, as well as the children, play key roles in deciding how effectively the staff member can contribute to fulfilling the work and mission of the office. Too seldom is this appreciated or taken note of in the organization. Hootoksi has quietly suffered anguish and frustration but never gave up out of consideration of the overall mission of UNICEF, but she has also rejoiced and takes an equal share of the kudos.
I have to say also that we have witnessed gross waste of precious resources, in UNICEF and in the host governments. We have had to stand by as umpteen ill-informed decisions have been taken, and staff members have blatantly derived personal advantage from their trusted positions in the organization and in the international community of the host country. We have even come across outright misappropriation and deliberate mismanagement in the name of children. One day perhaps, UNICEF will find a way, possibly through a 360-degree evaluation system, to overcome these deficiencies without unduly endangering the freedoms and flexibility that make UNICEF the most effective and highly regarded organization in the UN system.
We watch as UNICEF’s role in emancipating children changes from prime mover to facilitator and advocate, calling for new skills to meet the emerging challenges of our increasingly complex world. Retirement may give Hootoksi and me the time to ponder these issues and one day we will know what the bottom line really is.
Meanwhile, as you know, we will be making our new home in Malaysia. This is another adventure for us as we have not planned it very well and don’t even know yet where in the country we will settle. If we are given permission to drive there, I believe we will be the first ever to do so. We will keep you fully informed as we go along.
Finally, I want to express my very great appreciation to my supervisors and colleagues who helped make this career fruitful and enjoyable. I wish particularly to thank John Balcomb and Ken Nelson, who stuck their necks out and hired me in the first place. Ken taught me all I know about the art and science of making movies. I thank Satish Prabasi, Glan Davies and David Haxton who dispatched us to Bhutan, and to Rolf Carriere who trusted me with the ORT and salt iodation programmes there, and with whom we made marvelous advocacy materials.
Then, in Somalia, Dr. Gregorio Monasta, Stewart McNab, Baquer Namazi and Tom McDermott; in Yemen, Stewart McNab, Dev Chopra and Omawale; in Tanzania, Agnes Aidoo, Jesper Morch and Bjorn Ljungqvist; and here in Kathmandu, Nigel Fisher, Waheed Hassan and Sadig Rasheed. I thank HMG for hosting this last phase of my work with UNICEF, we have grown to love this country and its people.
Special thanks go to Neeta Thapa who has been the most efficient and understanding secretary I have ever known; Nuzhat, Dhruba, Sudhamshu, and Abha. All of you here, and others who have moved on, have been wonderful colleagues and good friends. At the risk of repeating myself, Hootoksi and I found ROSA to have been the most caring and user-friendly office of all. Please keep it that way.
We will miss you a lot and will wait for you to visit us in Malaysia. We will certainly visit you here whenever we are lucky enough to return to this beautiful country.
I have tried to say a lot but have actually managed very little. I’m sure Hootoksi would like to add a few things from her perspective so I hope you won’t mind if I invite her to say something.
All the very best to all of you, may you be happy, healthy and prosperous.
Michel’s letter to his Pa on the occasion of Robert’s Retirement
Darling Pa,
What do I remember about you and UNICEF? For starters, I wouldn’t be me if it weren’t for UNICEF and you!
That small thing aside, what do I remember about you and UNICEF?
I never really knew what you did at UNICEF until coming to Dar. I had a vague idea, but no specifics. I saw it as you, a passionate, honorable steadfast thing, always moving in the right direction. My head was always filled with magnificent scenes of parachutes dropping immunizations, of dare devil four-wheelers racing medicine in ice boxes across hostile deserts. I would tell the tales to my close friends late at night, and in my depiction there was glorious music it was an epic thing you and UNICEF were doing.
But a few years in DSM, seeing UNICEF and seeing you, I began to notice that all the glorious epics were about you, not UNICEF. I began to meet other UNICEF people. Many couldn’t care less for the women and children. But you would come home hurt by the hurdles that creates. You were actually involved. Many people say work should be left at the office. But if you find your work to be a passion, to be a part of yourself, then you are always doing it. You cannot stop.
So UNICEF won the lottery. They got you, a believer, an actualizer, a catalyst, a never-ending stream of solutions to the problems created by those who leave their work at the office. You put steadfast and honor into UNICEF, never taking advantage of your position. You brought them the passion, the very thing that fuels the search for justice and equality.
So now UNICEF lost you. I can’t see your passion changing or abating. Now you do it for you. No more sons to fight for, no more drawn out meetings, no more power struggles. Now you do it for Mum.
Thank you Pa for your years of toil. Thanks for the memories and experiences most couldn’t even dream up. Thanks for making the world mine. Thanks for lighting the fire. Thanks for the UN voice. Thanks for the crazy ideas. Thanks for resting me on your stomach and cranking the tunes! Thanks for the love of music.
Thank you Pa.
With all my love and a big big CHILL CHILL PILL.
Michel
Farhad’s letter to his Pa on the occasion of Robert’s Retirement
TO MY PA
The time on the horizon has finally arrived,
When UNICEF and Robert Tyabji are parting,
After a lifetime of service to each other.
An exciting exit into a new life
You are well fit to enter!
My memories say UNICEF was you,
And there was nothing to worry about.
So, what’s going to happen now?
My life with you was blessed traveling from country to country,
Guaranteed my place and happiness in your peaceful realm.
I have developed wise maxims from those special experiences,
And even regard myself a UNICEF kid
UNICEF is recognized worldwide for its helpful work.
Travel, charity, exchange, and family values
Flex like sweeping clouds over a hastening world.
There is a lot of everything around the bend.
Often, I prefer to keep silent than explain complexity.
Eventually, time is the best teacher.
Through college in America I told people close enough to hear me
travel is the best teacher
because the lifestyle I grew up with
infected me with the satisfaction of seeing and re-living places of being.
In-born in me also is a certain Drive to Work,
A need for an orderly house, peaceful and trusting relationships,
And a desire to increase my consciousness and the happiness of others.
These are some of the things you have given me.
For each of them, I owe you a million thanks
And more so for everything else.
A son is supposed to love and honor and follow his father.
It is all true for me,
And true for my brothers.
Thus now with the good employer satisfied,
We have the time to gather as grown adults and share our stories!
Miracles alive! Pa, you have done the best job!
I know it from many,
Except you!
Stellar!
Uniquely interesting
Congratulations!
It is such an exciting time this 2003.
A New Year of opportunities.
My trust in you is complete
I applaud your every new move.
What of opportunities to organize together in the future!
And our joyous family reunions!
We will come and visit you!
We will keep Love and service flowing
I wish you and Ma a smooth departure from UNICEF,
Accept all the hoorahs from all your admirers,
And when it comes time to move on east
Take that beautiful bride of yours
And make a new life out of freedom and opportunity!
With everlasting Love and respect,
Farhad
The plod and Pilot of Passion and Praise
Adil’s letter to his Pa on the occasion of Robert’s Retirement
To: Mr. Robert Tyabji, Free Agent,
Globe Trotter Street,P.O.Box ABC, Earth
From: Adil Tyabji,43 Beechdale Road,
Youngest Son
The English Connection
Darling Pa,
Congratulations on this your retirement day. Congratulations for beating the rat-race!
Your long career has carried our family in the palm of its hand. Without question, I have followed in your footsteps and strive to accomplish what you have and give to a cause as you do.
Your impending retirement has prompted much self-introspection. I have asked what it means to be your son, pondered on the effects your job has had on our family and asked what has or is the most precious gift bestowed upon us as a result of it.
The answer to all of the above is love. Your love for Mom and hers for you is written in the stars. It is the foundation of our family and even though I live thousands of miles away from you, I only need one fragment of that great love, to survive.
During your career you have touched thousands of children all over the world. Success in the later part of your career made you deskbound but I have always known and remembered you to be the man in the field. I am glad that you will soon be back on the road again!
Your everloving son,
Adil Tyabji
Letter from Carol Bellamy, Executive Director, UNICEF
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